How We Met

TWO POSTS in the SAME month!  AMAZING!!!!

Please do not think this means I will be posting like this all of the time.  However, as Ann pointed out, there are several members of my family who have not heard the story and while I am not opposed to talking to each and every one of them I figured this would be a more efficient way of sharing.  So, allow me to introduce a wonderful woman.  This is Bethany:

Please note her aversion at having her picture taken.  I tried several times to get her to look up for my phone camera, the closest I got was this one:

A little on the blurry side, but I think you can see her well enough. 


Now that I have introduced you to her (and possibly gotten into a bit of trouble for posting these pictures of her, sorry Bethany, well... sort of sorry), I will give you the backstory. 

Several months ago now, while attending the Priesthood Session of General Conference, I heard a talk by Elder Quentin L. Cook entitled "Choose Wisely".  For many years I have not been content with being single.  It has been, and remains, my desire to find my eternal companion and as the years have piled up without me getting any closer to marriage I had found myself less and less satisfied with my situation.  I had also become comfortable in my situation.  I have a decent job, I get to travel a fair amount and sleep in and see the movies I want to see.  I am not content, but I am comfortable.  I hadn't given it much thought until Elder Cook said  the following:

"You single men, the longer you remain single after an appropriate age and maturity, the more comfortable you can become.  But the more uncomfortable you ought to become!  Please get "anxiously engaged" in spiritual and social activities compatible with your goal of a temple marriage."

His words, accompanied by a sharp poke from the Holy Ghost, spoke to me directly.  I was too comfortable in being single and it was far past time for me to become more engaged.  I went home and decided to rejoin a singles website I had used in the past.  I committed to myself I would date anyone within a 100 mile radius of where I live that showed any real interest in me.  I even let my coworker pick profiles she liked and sent messages to them.  I had a few nibbles here and there, but by and large there was no real response to my efforts and I was beginning to wonder what else I needed to do (heaven forbid I might actually have to go to a Single Adult activity...).  It was about that time I received a message from a woman in Oregon.  Now, Oregon is definitely outside of my 100 mile radius and I was prepared to send her a polite, but definite Thanks but No Thanks type of message, that is until I read her message to me. 

It turns out Bethany is a Red Sox fan, and what's more her favorite player from her youth was my same favorite player!  We both liked Mike Greenwell growing up!  I couldn't just say no to a fellow Red Sox fan, even if she did live on the other side of the continent from me.  So we began exchanging messages on the singles website.  I found myself looking forward to her message each day.  She is intelligent, witty, and seemed to get my unique sense of humor.  After a couple weeks we began chatting online.  We shared life experiences and I began to find out just how much she has been through.  Out of respect to her I will simply say there are a couple guys who made huge mistakes when they failed to treat this woman properly.  She has two beautiful children from her 2nd marriage as shown in one of the pictures above and several in my last post.  We began talking on the phone to each other before Thanksgiving and I flew out to see her in January. 

I wont predict what the future will bring for either of us, we are still rather early in our relationship and there are many challenges to overcome still (distance and money for example), but I find myself wanting to talk to her every day and wishing I lived a lot closer to her than I currently do.  I find myself thinking of ways to find time to see her again and still enjoy getting a daily email from her.  I guess you could say we have passed the point of just being friends and entered a true courtship stage.  For the more romantic out there... I like her.

A lot.

Catching Up

So 2015 is already 2 weeks old and I haven't posted anything since Thanksgiving.  I would claim a busy schedule as the reason but I am single... no kids... and while I do have 2 callings in my ward they don't consume near enough time for me to truly blame them.  Sadly enough I haven't posted simply because my life is not that exciting.  No kids means minimal surprises and far fewer photos to take.  Regardless of the "simple" life I live I will catch the select few who read my blog up with my life over the past few months.  And just in case you are tempted to not read on, or are starting to get sleepy eyed from this introduction... I do have pictures at the end. 

So after returning to the Chicago area after Thanksgiving I pretty much fell into my normal routine of go to work, go home, go to work, go home.  Mix in an occasional scout meeting and teaching primary on Sunday and the month flew by very quickly.  I was invited to an ice skating competition in Michigan with Seth and his family.  His daughter is on a synchronized ice skating competition team and really enjoying it.  I went along and thought I was playing the cool Cousin by securing rooms at a great rate.  Unfortunately the rooms only had one bed in them.  So two rooms, two beds total, 3 adults and 3 kids.  For those who like math that left us about 2 beds short.  Because the hotel was filled with Ice Skating teams there were no rollaway beds available either.  So Seth and his son slept on the floor, the girls all shared a bed, and I had a bed to myself (I did try to talk Seth into taking it with his son but he insisted on the floor).  Next time I play the cool cousin I will have to double check the room types offered!  The competition was enjoyable to watch, albeit short, but more enjoyable than the competition was the company.  Being alone on the weekends can be, well, lonely.  I am definitely grateful for a Cousin who is close by and willing to involve me in his family fun. 

Christmas came and went, I worked the day shift then spent the evening with Seth.  Thanks to everyone who sent me cards and gifts and happy thoughts on that special day.  And before you get to feeling bad for me having to work on Christmas, I did choose to do so.  I am the boss after all, so I can't blame anyone else.  My staff all have kids and were appreciative of my covering so they could celebrate with their families the holiday.  The guests on Christmas day are all nice and it is really not a bad day to work, if you have to work.

After Christmas came New Years.  Again I worked.  No biggie, I stopped staying awake till midnight when I discovered I enjoy sleeping.  There was a ton of work to do to close out 2014 and get 2015 up and running.  As quiet a month as December was for me, January has been the complete opposite.  For only being two weeks old I have gone through all of the following: new primary class with struggles for me adapting to a different age group and a different co-teacher whose techniques frustrated me.  An attack of the dreaded Flu virus going around (102+ fever, vomiting, joints aching, etc etc etc), GM Conference in Chicago (I know, long distance to travel, but I had to stay at the hotel in downtown Chicago so it kind of felt like a trip), and a real trip a day after the conference to Oregon.  To see a Woman and her kids. 

For those who may not have heard, or simply didn't believe it was possible for me to meet someone who could put up with my personality, her name is Bethany.  She is wonderful woman who has been through far too many trials.  She has two beautiful children and two awful and ugly Ex husbands. I say that, but I haven't met them so they may not be ugly, at least on the outside, inside I have no doubt their "spiritual beauty" is seriously lacking.  I am, admittedly, biased.  Bethany plays the harp, she is a Red Sox fan, and she seems to think I am funny!  All wonderful traits, I know, but more importantly she has a strong testimony of the Church in spite of (or perhaps because of) what she has been through and she truly cares for her children.  I flew into Portland on Friday and was able to spend the next few days with her and her kids getting to know them all better.  Bethany and I went to see Into the Woods (just as good the second time for me as it was the first), we all went to the Beach and a lighthouse (well, 2 lighthouses but one was under renovation and covered up), went to a bounce on it (might have the wrong name, but if you have kids you know what I am talking about), went swimming, went to Church, and otherwise just hung out at her house.  There were several of her friends who had to see me.  I think they were making sure I wasn't a jerk and, according to Bethany, I passed their inspections. The trip was very enjoyable for me and Bethany had a wonderful time as well.  The following pictures were taken on Sunday.  I was a bit silly and forgot my camera when we went to the beach and lighthouses.  Bethany, I apologize for posting a couple of the pictures you didn't want me to post, but I can't help it.  I want to show you off. ;)

Melanie on the left, Bethany on the right (Melanie is one of her friends who had to meet me)



Bethany's son. 



When Bethany went to play her harp for me her son decided he wanted to play as well. 



Bethany's daughter. 

It took a little longer than usual for her to warm up to me, but by the end of my visit we were good friends.

Bethany took this picture on Saturday night.  When she asked her daughter what her favorite part of the day was, she said it was the time we spent drawing together.  The beach, lighthouse, swimming all lost out to a little bit of special time together.  One on One time with children is far more important than taking them to fun places or buying them lots of gifts. 

Thank you Bethany for sharing your weekend and family with me!  It was too short, but definitely worthwhile.  For anyone of the very select few who read my blog that want to know the names of the children, please give me a call and I will share them.  For very legitimate reasons I will not be posting their names on my blog.

And now I am all caught up.  Later this month I go to Savannah, GA for another business meeting, but the next two weeks should be semi normal for me.  Which basically means I will be going to work and going home and going to work and going home.  And, if history is any indicator, I will probably come down with a head cold this week.  In fact, it already seems to be starting.  Lucky me.